NOTHING ALIKE. you'll just have to find something else to *ENTERTAIN* you!

i was just thinking about how my blog seems to have all these views every day, there's always around 40 or 50 views each day.. most of them have to be from my stupid, narcissistic bum of a mom and enabling, narcissistic sister. it's like they can't handle someone ACTUALLY living their lives without them knowing about it- it's like my mom is interested and nosey just because she wants to be nosey about things she never had the balls to do herself because she was so convinced she was disabled to make my grandma feel better and also convince people she actually keeps in contact with me because she knows what goes on with me. that shit is NOT going to continue in a cycle with me. i don't give a fuck if she thinks i'll do it just because my mommy did and to make my mommy feel better. DID MY GRANDMA EVER HOLD MY MOM IN FRONT OF MY GRANDPA WHILE HE WAS KICKING HER?! HELL NO. number one- my grandpa was never stupid enough to kick another woman.. ESPECIALLY NOT his own damn wife. number two- my grandma also had more respect and intelligence for herself than to marry a man who beat the shit outta her. i refuse to play my life small just for my mom's comfort.. especially after she risked my damn body when being kicked by her husband when he was drunk and abusive, kicking her. it irritates me that she REALLY thought she'd get away with this shit without any consequences and without ever taking accountability for it/apologizing to ME for it. it REALLY explains why she's never made something of herself- GOD DON'T LIKE UGLY. i hate to disappoint her stupid ass (no i don't) and make it clear that I'M NOT CHOOSING TO ACT ANYTHING LIKE MY MOM. she's just an example of what will happen if i don't go for my goals and decide to live off social security. my parents don't own an apartment and/or care about me nearly as much as my grandparents did for my mom. they also showed her more care and support than i've EVER received from my parents and/or any of my family members. i'm just gonna have to find myself another black boyfriend. hm.. black guys seem to like this mexican spice anyway. shouldn't be that hard. and my sister will NEVER become anything remotely like me since she refuses to do the actual work (schooling and jobs)- not to mention, she doesn't resemble me physically AT ALL. my grandma always used to say that my brother was a male version of me since we resemble each other physically- she NEVER mentioned ANYTHING about my sister looking like EITHER of us. my brother used to always say how he thought my sister was adopted since she's nothing like either of us.. she actually resembles my mom complexion wise and i think i inherited my mom's eyes but then i looked at my eyes further and how kids inherit their mom's eyes made more sense to me because i originally thought i have the same eyes as my grandma did- so if my mom inherited her mom's eyes it makes sense especially since both my grandma and i had our eyeliner tattoo'd on. my grandma's showed up better than mine did though- my grandma claimed it was because she got some laotian person that she used to work with do her tattoo'd eyeliner and they probably had different materials/methods. i think my eyeliner might not have stuck on as well because my allergies making my eyes itch and i would rub them every now and then when i didn't have someone put eyedrops in my eyes. it makes me mad because i'm sure my mom enjoys reading about all the shit she's done to me because she DOESN'T CARE and she knows that no one else does either. your day will fucking come. i'll continue to let the phone ring when you call. CRY TO GRANDMA'S FAMILY AND FRIENDS ABOUT ME REFUSING TO LET YOU GET AWAY WITH TREATING ME HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT NOW. you jackasses need to learn that NOT EVERYTHING is about YOU and i'll just continue living my life the way i want NOT regressing and/or acting like i'm less capable than i REALLY am because I'M NOTHING LIKE YOU- I ACTUALLY ENJOY WORKING TO GET WHAT I DESERVE. i guess you might call that having INTEGRITY.. which i'm positive my mom can't even spell.